"Psychological doctor mom " godchild law
Square new the person that is others of a special help, her profession is psychotherapy division, common says " psychological doctor " . Just be being returned newly is a mom of 9 years old of boys. No matter speak of a profession to still speak of a son, fang Xindou has the word that does not say. The reporter asks her, is becoming psychological doctor very helpful also to doing mom? She says is such, because of psychotherapy division this profession asks to review his ceaselessly, ceaselessly ego grows, this is the premise that does a good mom.
Just told newly to the reporter " psychological doctor mom " godchild method.
Do mom to should give the child safe sense above all
Better psychologist is studying childhood is inchoate " attaching " problem. To the mother " attaching " a kind of instinct that is a child actually. As each when little life system comes to this world, want subsist namely above all. Firstborn baby what won't, want subsist to need rely on certain thing, mom is this the mainest thing, mother love is this the mainest thing. To the baby, mom's bosom is the warmest, the safest, those who become mother must feel this to the child. The child had this kind of feeling, had a stable psychological base, won't come up against bit of thing to fear, with respect to angst, such child compares the change of easy acclimatization. For instance my child, go up nursery school, go up elementary school, suit more quickly, the bank with too big it doesn't matter, because he has safe feeling as a child, have the sort of trustful feeling to the person.
This kind of safe feeling, trustful move is very significant. If became pair of people of mom to be full of animosity, was full of distrust, it can infect the child. For instance a lot of people feel my son is very lovely, often like to take him to play. If I am right person distrust, can say, do not go, he meets what take away you! Of course it is good that I also won't say all people, a bit danger is done not have. I can say to the child, there is bad person on this world, but hellion is very few. The education that myself gets as a child lets us think to good person is on the world, you also should do good person. When I was brought up to know those ruin sth, I am particularly painful, feel living uninteresting. So, I feel the sort of education biaseds, you should tell the child to have one pile the good person of one pile, but have so little hellion. Of course, wait after he became big, it is complex that I can tell another person from psychological angle, there also is good one side on hellion body, there also is evil one side on good person body, you do not arouse his bad one side.
Love can let the child obtain self-worth to feel
Love can let the child obtain self-worth to feel, this is the mainest thing that allows the child to be willing to live on this world. Some people think, often praise the child, the child just can have self-confidence. I feeling to accept the child is more important than praising the child. Accept the child, no matter he is what kind of,be, I accept you, is not you can make outer part to me, when making me glad, I just accept you. Know when the child mom can accept complete when oneself, he ability is self-confident.
If light is praised, abuse is praised, also can appear problem. My son loves libertinism tall building blocks, his fancy is very rich, I and his pa build the thing that take not to come out, particularly good. Once the son took a big airlines to come over, ask mother: "How am I built? " I say to had been held out, quite good. The son says: "You return mom to did not praise me! " I one subliminal to " praise abuse " problem. Praise abuse to be able to let the child do not notice mobile itself gives him brought pleasure, however from others in praising, go searching contented. I realize my abuse was praised, say to him: "You build this big airlines, build it is so so beautiful, good to get, is yourself looked at be promoted high? And in the process that you are employing, think a little while so do, think a little while so do, finished your idea finally, are you promoted high? " the son says: "Glad! " I say: "This is the award to you! "This is the award to you!!
Do not turn criticism into affection to mistreat
Educational child also needs criticism of course, but scarcely often can be criticized, old criticism became affection to mistreat, meet the child bring psychological scar, the child became big easy and depressed. If parents often criticizes the child, final criticism can turn child heart into a medium Lilliputian, even if parents is not criticized, this Lilliputian also meets him criticize his, often be opposite oneself are dissatisfactory, do not accept oneself, become particularly self-abased. So I feel criticism wants particularly exquisite.
The criticism that I understand, the first, want wrong to the thing person. I criticize the child to want to tell him every time, it is this thing makes mom grouchy, but mom loves your this individual forever. Do I say you do not understand? He says, understand. The 2nd, the child is not inherent know a lot of rule. In fact child if it were not for makes a mistake, do not know that rule, after you tell him this is custom, he won't do this business. For instance, once I go nursery school receives the child, the teacher says: Your son is the first cry, all children resemble mad like follow your son to cry, we are not controlled. Nursery school of my spy accredit that teacher, what I believe she says is true, but I also know the child is right. Why? When because we go,outskirts plays, his father step on the gas, we feel especially excited, cry in the car. He thinks to also can be done so in nursery school. I say with the child later: "In us the home can cry, can cry inside father's car, but not all circumstance can cry. Don't you know this rule? " he says: "Yes! " he is then clear. If we regard as,the mistake criticizes him, he can feel very grievance.
